Throughout our lives, we build many relationships. They require time, patience, and effort while some of them are just real struggles! However, as we manage all our relationships, we often forget to build the most important one. The relationship with ourselves. In the end, only this relationship stays with us. All the rest shall end someday.
Building this relationship is the first step in taking control of our life!
But how does it start!?
It starts with understanding who we are.
How do you define yourself?
Honest? Intelligent? Fun?
But are you always these adjectives?
Sometimes we are depressed and sometimes we are ecstatic! We can be smart academically but be completely clueless when it comes to street smartness! We are a whole range of emotions and qualities!
Simple words and lines are not enough to define us.
We think we have figured ourselves out, but in reality, we are complex and beautiful beings.
We are constantly changing. When it comes to the relationship with ourselves, we are so quick to judge and label it. But our desires, priorities, and goals will always change, and sometimes it’s hard to gulp that truth. We cannot expect to grow and also stay the same.
Secondly, you are not always one thing.
You are not an angry person. You are not an insecure person. Rather sometimes you feel angry. Sometimes you feel insecure.
Choose your words wisely. As Lilly Singh stated in her book “Be a Triangle” -:
Change your conversation from “I am stupid” to “I’m someone currently struggling to figure out a problem, I’ve never experienced before”. We can empathize more with the second person. We can see how love and support help that person. We show more compassion to someone trying to figure it out than to someone we simply dismiss as stupid. We want to champion the second one. We haven’t given up on them.
We must understand our emotions and in-depth analyze what triggered them. So that, in case they impact us negatively, we know how to prevent them next time.
To build a strong relationship, we must take out time for ourselves, away from the hustle and bustle of the world. Take out time to do your favorite things. Read, dance, write, listen to music or just meditate. But having your “ME time” is essential. It is where you can think about how your day went, contemplate your actions, or simply have a heart-to-heart conversation with yourself! :)
Apart from this, being present with your thoughts in isolation is also vital. You know how, when we are in the elevator with someone else, we start fiddling with our phone? We do the same when we are alone. But instead of immersing and eventually losing ourselves in the digital world, why not find and be with ourselves in the beautiful world around us?
Be present, in the present. How magical would it be if we got so lost in the laughter that everything else falls silent? Wouldn’t it be amazing if we savor each bite of our food, instead of being distracted by our phones or televisions?
Be here. Be now. Commit to the present. To quote Lilly Singh -:
The only relationship you can control in life is with yourself. Prioritize it, nurture it, and make it the foundation of who you are. That way, no matter what new hurdles come your way each day, you can always come home to a relationship with yourself.
~Amishi Garg
(Inspired by Lilly Singh's book - "Be a Triangle: How I Went from Being Lost to Getting My Life Into Shape")
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